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“I want to know who my ‘late’ dad’s relatives but my mum won’t let me,” Varsity Student Seeks Advice

A student who wants to know his ‘late’ dad’s relatives has said his mum wouldn’t let him and he needs your advice. The student pleaded to be anonymous.

The 20-years-old student raised by a single Mom says he wants to find out who his late Dad was and meet the relatives but each time he brings it up his Mom strongly refuses.

He says things are very bad at home coupled With the fact that his mom dates a lot of men.

Although he wants his dad’s relative’s to lend a helping hand what he really needs is a sense of belonging.

PS: Please be nice with your words. See this as a way of helping out. Insults in any form won’t be approved!

Read his story below:

I am 20 years old, since I was born I have been told that my dad died while I was barely 2 weeks old. And since then my mom has been doing the upbringing.

What really baffles me is that non of his relatives(my dad) comes to check up or anything up till now.

I can say we were doing good before, not anymore because everything seems to crumble
And to be sincere I have been having suicidal thoughts here and there.

Recently, Sometimes we can’t even feed properly.

Now the issue is my mom dates several men, which I am not comfortable with. Not as if I don’t want a happy life for her but those people she dates are either married or don’t even want to start a family with her.

We the children can’t even pin one to at least call a stepdad.

All of them are just there for the fun.

Several times reconnecting with my dad comes up, my mom turns it completely down, claiming the way they treated her and us the children after his death was bad.

When I was 18 I came back home only for my mom to tell me some kinsmen came but she rejected being the person they were looking for. That is she told them that they were at the wrong place.

I hoped for them to at least try again but 2 years and past and still nothing from them. That’s the confusing part. Because how would you just neglect your brother’s kids for 20 years not even trying to connect with them.

Now everything is bad, and sincerely I don’t think she can continue all by herself, why continue by herself when at least my father’s relation can help.

Yes I am in a federal university, trust me when I say it wasn’t easy getting in. We had to take up loans.

Even paying fees and buying books is very difficult. Sometimes I go weeks without getting a dime from home while in school.

Now all these are driving me fast into depression, to me I want to locate my father’s people.

The truth is that it isn’t really easy being 20 and not even knowing where you came from.

My mom doesn’t even allow us to talk about home, she doesn’t even want us indicating that we are from my father’s village.

Even when I attempted schooling there, though I later couldn’t get in, she didn’t buy the idea at all. She kicked against it and she still does.

So please I need your advice because I don’t think I can go on any longer, every day I have thoughts of ending everything.

No money for food, clothes, or anything. There is no money at all and it isn’t really okay when you see your friends having a normal life and you can’t have one.

Yes I don’t want riches I just want a sense of belonging, someone I know I can call dad and at least cater for my responsibilities.

All the men she is with don’t even care if she has kids. They only want the fun about that such I don’t even call them for complaints.

So please I need your help, what do you advise in this situation??

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